And when we talk about it our voices get quiet;        says to me, I don't think I trust myself anymore.31 Sometimes we want the condom to break.or.is to say. There's always that one time you're sad at the end of the month. This isn't supposed to happen anymore.or. Not to highly educated, semi-political, liberal women.32 There was this one time, only once and never like that again, that morning after stumbling out of bed not sure of the walls, that I doubled over and cried. The light was so light that everything seemed the same shade of pale           .but this.           33and I stared. And nothing had ever been guilt before. And months later to tell a friend and she tells the same to the same, she tells a friend to the same-same. And if anybody talks about it, it's always eyes lowered, doing something with the hands, looking up at the other person's face every now and then for reassurement. but a sensation so familiar.35 when we talk about it we get smaller; we take different names.